I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize