Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
