You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize