Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
