video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.