brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.