I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban