Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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