You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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