So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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