if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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