Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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