Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
