We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
