well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
