you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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