how can u be prego again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
