Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
