I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
