I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's rum buckets o'clock
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
