alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
