chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
