pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
