the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
