We're like a lot better than the average bears
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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