I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
