Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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