I think I died a long time ago.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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