I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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