Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
