Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Found your dick twin last night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
