And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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