I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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