Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
