I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
