WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
