i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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