birth control should be required to get into college
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
