I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
