i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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