Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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