OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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