You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I smell like Dick and happiness
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
