yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
