dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
