After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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