the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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