I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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