Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
