Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
