Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
