I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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