So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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