it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
