It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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