So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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