Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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