A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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