how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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