I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
