I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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