So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
