I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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