it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
its liver damage thursday
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