i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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