wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
