I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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