She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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